Chivalrous long gone
Saturday 1624
Last week Saturday, we had dinner at Little Italy and chance upon sitting next to a middle age couple.
They were dressed casually - T-shirt and jeans. Too casual that the lady looks like she’s ready for bed. Seriously.
But they had red wine to go along with their food.
I was impressed.
I couldn’t help but noticing everything that this couple was doing.
What more when our tables were just a mere 2 feet in distance so obviously I could hear what they were saying and do.
I was even more conscious of them, especially the lady, cos she kept turning her head to our table.
Even the first time we stepped in, her eyes were transfixed on us.
Perhaps, it was our dressing.
Too well-dressed I guess since we were actually from a wedding (skipped the food and headed to a restaurant instead).
Long story short, the couple finished their dinner earlier than us.
The man stood up and when the lady was about to stand, her companion helped pull out her chair.
At that instant, I could not help myself to stare at them causing the man to look at me back.
I was obviously surprised at the man’s gesture.
Such a gentleman.
Then, I gave hubby a look and he instantly understood.
“They look very old school anyways,” he said.
Now, the thing that made me taken aback was that, I have not been seeing chivalrous act since ages.
At least, not in our culture.
A simple gesture as opening the door for the lady is slowly becoming ‘endangered gesture’.
Well, thanks to the sense of wanting gender equality, everyone is capable of opening the door themselves.
Being chivalry, as we are taught since young are just good manners that eventually seen as ways on treating women in a specific manners.
It is just something that developed out of respect from a man to a woman or in most cases, his woman.
Simple gestures like pulling out a chair for a lady, opens the door for her, carrying heavy things for her, holding her jacket or offering her yours, etc.
When we see a guy offering his jacket to a girl on a cold weather or when a guy opens the door to a girl he barely has relationship with, it often means, he has feelings for her.
Of course, there are men who would do the above without expecting something in return but these are the men with chivalry in them that has slowly disappearing from the world.
I know some male friends who are very gentlemen and I’m glad they exist.
It is just rare to see one doing it often these days.
Just like the case at Little Italy.
Pulling a chair for a lady?
Often. it’s the waiter job to do that.
So, to quote the hubby, is chivalry really an old school thingy?
Of course, implementing chivalry like this is something that I, myself would laugh out loud.
Happy Diwali!
Until next post!
*hugs*
Ya jangan lagi lupa itu *tuut* ni kali.. Ngehngeh..
Nick Phillips said,
October 17, 2009 @ 7:15 pm
Yes, sad but true, chivalry is a dying thing. And I’m at fault too at times when I forget to pull a chair out for wifey. Thanks for the reminder Carol
Actually, I dont remember hubby ever pull out a chair for me before cos it is never something that we practice.
I wonder what people would think if hubby does that the next time we have eat out at the restaurant.
But of course, things like open/hold the door, help carry heavy stuffs or shopping bags are the likes that hubby often do.
Kumbayeh said,
October 17, 2009 @ 7:22 pm
Well… before i could reach the chair my wife already gotten up… before i could open the door she already open it hahaha
then again if i do it, big probability my wife would say “uiyo… gentlemeeeennnn oh… kin malu saja”
then again if she want me to do it, i would say “sendiri la….minta puji” hahahahaha
Hahahahaha! Sakit perut sa ketawa.
So true lah. That’s exactly what hubby and I would say given the two situations. Hahahaha!
perry said,
October 17, 2009 @ 9:21 pm
sometimes old school is the best school.
Yeah!
jipp said,
October 17, 2009 @ 9:21 pm
things like pulling a chair out or opening the door can still be seen nowadays. but mostly are done for the bosses. mengipas bos la katakan. hehe.
LOL! So true lah.
I think most people can testify to that.
Nadia said,
October 17, 2009 @ 10:00 pm
yaiy, syiok oo kan, sya pun mau oo, but Kris buat gitu bila d hotel ja br tarik kerusi utk sya..
hihi.. pintu tu, emm, kalu sya jalan dluan sya buka sendiri la utk diri sendiri..huahua.. btw, sya pun suka jg lelaki gentleman kan 
skrg kbykan lelaki pentingkan diri sendiri ja..huahua.. oppsss no offense kpd sesiapa ar 
Wahhhh jadi si kris tarik kerusi jg lah tuk ko ni kalau di mkn di hotel? Good.
Susah juga mo ckp lelaki selfish or what…it’s just that, in our culture, ni barang mana kena kasi ajar in specific ways.
Cyril said,
October 17, 2009 @ 10:34 pm
Kumbayeh is right… by the time you want to get to the next door, they have opened it already… so susahla mcm tu =P hahaha…
so.. yeah.. exchange of ‘minta puji’ is always in order when that happens.. heheh
HAhaha! Well, chivalry isn’t just limited to opening the door or pulling out the chair for your lady.
But I know you understand where I’m going at.
Lina said,
October 18, 2009 @ 1:52 am
Apatah lagi lepas kahwin kan..all those niceties yg sebelum kawin tu, are all forgotten!
Ya betul tu.
AnnieMing said,
October 18, 2009 @ 1:59 am
i like dis post..
it made me think.. yes d gentlemen thingie is almost vanished nowadays.. but i felt lucky having someone who are still doing those things to me, like helping me out wif my chair, open the doors for me, etc.. he’s still doing dat.
hehe.. i hope things won’t change even after 20, 30 years.. even if i wear pyjamas to dinner with him.. hehe
Si Harry memang gentleman bah. Pandai lagi tu mo kasi surprise2 heheh.
And yeah, we all hope that things like that last.
LJ said,
October 18, 2009 @ 9:15 am
hola Kay..
dats d most gentleman ever..
i mo tabik spring sama ni uncle to tis aunty.
my dad only wil give his hands to carry d heavy things to my mom.. hehehehhehe.. n d rest wil be to his 3 princesses.
Biasalah tu.
How about your Baobei?
massy said,
October 18, 2009 @ 11:01 am
It’s sad really. Not many people have manners this days. I got this habit of when I open a door and there’s people behind me, I’ll hold it up till the last person. LOL. I can’t help myself. Heck, guys don’t help the ladies carry their stuff unless were told to these days. *sigh.
Good for you Massy.
So, if coming out from the cinema, you will hold the door till everyone come out kah?
I hope not.
Lorna said,
October 28, 2009 @ 8:33 pm
You speak of chivalry? What about plain ol’ manners? I think some of us are so desensitized to rudeness, that if a stranger would as much as stops by you a second, smiles at you and says good morning before going on his way, you’d think it was weird, or scary even :/
Yeah, u are right. I think, I would have think that stranger is weirdo as well and just ignore him/her.
Daniel Chiam said,
November 8, 2009 @ 7:35 pm
Hahahah I have a thought about posting something to do with Chivalry and I stumble upon this post! It was hard to see such culture here and its a very sad thing to said. When I was back in KL attended City Harvest Church, you will be surprise at all the men there.. Opening the door for the ladies, give up their seat for other, help to carry stuff even if one another is a stranger… I’m glad I’m there coz at least I could make use of what I know best there. If here, when your trying to be nice to others, mesti ada apa2 tu… haha