Searching for passion
Wednesday 2049
“Hunny, why is it that every time I have mastered a skill, I become malas want to learn more?”
“Kau cepat puas hati bah that. When there is still more to learn, you already think it’s enough,” he replied.
“But, I know I want to learn more. Like the beadwork, I still have lots of things in mind to do but I am so lazy.”
“Well, maybe that’s because you haven’t found your true passion.”
*paused*
“Maybe, teaching is your only passion,” he continued.
“Hmmmmmm…”
That’s something to ponder.
I never thought teaching as a passion.
Firstly, it was never my answer to the ‘What you want to be when you grow up’ question before.
And secondly, I always thought I’m up for something other than teaching.
Come to think of it again, maybe it IS my passion - unconsciously perhaps. If there is anything like that though.
For almost 5 years into this profession, I don’t think I ever dreaded waking up to go to work.
Of course, there were the occasional laziness on Monday mornings or any other mornings post-holiday.
I dread these mornings because I dislike the one and half hour travel that I have to do but once I am at work, the day will go just fine.
I remember working in a corporate company before teacher.
The moment I reached the office, I already felt like going home or going somewhere else but the office.
And when I was at work, I kept wondering why did I do this work.
I never have the feeling that things will get better at work.
It was all negative vibes.
And as much as I wanted to take things positively, I couldn’t.
I felt like a stagnant river.
Today, I honestly admit that those feelings I have had before never bothered me again.
“Aah, of course you are happy being a teacher lah Chegu. You have the most holidays as compared to other makan gaji people.”
Well yes of course. That’s one of the factors and I will never deny that.
And it is the perk of being a teacher.
But, as I go through analyzing the reasons why I love this job…. I found out, being a teacher or an educator, it is never the same boring routine every day.
Yes, there’s the class time table and the never ending rules and non-teaching works that we need to adhere to and do.
But when it comes to the real core job - in classroom, educating the kids, having to deal with different children antics every day… that’s the best part of this job.
They never failed to tickle my bones or touched my heart in very different ways.
The fact that I am able to do something about it or learn from it makes me eager about my work.
The kids and I, we are both teachers to each other.
There is no hypocrisy in them.
And it feels good to deal with white canvas mind.
It sort of take away your mind from the cruelty of real world for a while.
Seeing them learning something new in life is like seeing your own self going up and down the stairs of life.
Having been there, although just a brief moment and knowing that you could have been some what significant in their journey to wade into mad world is somehow an exhilarating feeling.
The confidence you put on them because you believe that every child has his/her own potentials.
And when you see those potentials budding, blooming and harvesting fruits, you know you are on the right track.
That sort of little things are the things that excite me as a teacher.
My 2008 UPSR kiddos on the day they received their UPSR results.
I see myself stronger and firmer in this profession.
Twenty years down the road, I still picture myself dealing with kids in my line of work although maybe some ‘evolutions’ on the job title.
So, is teaching my passion?
And owh, a shout out to dearest Octavia… Happy Birthday!!!
Oct and I from long time ago in Bethlehem. LOL!
Until next post!
*hugs*
Fharelynne said,
November 4, 2009 @ 10:52 pm
I love reading this post carol =)
I agree with your view. I remembered few years back i tutored maths to a few PMR students, they were not that competent in maths, so i helped them and taught them several skills that i ever applied during my pmr year, and walaaaa! they scored A`s!and that gave me such happiness and satisfaction!
I better think about becoming a teacher now..:D
Yes, exactly what I meant.
If you jadi teacher, I’m sure you’d be the most sought after teacher by the students. Pretty teacher kan
Joan said,
November 4, 2009 @ 11:01 pm
Inspiring post! The passion is the ultimate driving force.
Thanks! And yes indeed.
Nadia said,
November 4, 2009 @ 11:49 pm
yeah.. totally agreed wif you
emmm.. btul oo ko ckp, tym2 mau pigi skul tu mcm malas ja, but kalu sda sampai di kelas tu macam okay and fine seja kan.. masa pun cepat tul blalu kalu di skul.. maybe tgu sya 5 tahun mengajar, br sya buat post mcm ko la 
Thanks for sharing..
hari2 biasa, i have no problem waking up. just on mondays yg bila sa mo balik kgau tu bah…
x payah tunggu smpai 5 thn or more bah nad if u have already realized that this is what u want to do all your life
Angel said,
November 5, 2009 @ 12:06 am
Wah. Sa pula mac lagi mencari2 identiti ni. Belajar utk jadi cegu tp mac lagi ada uncertainty. I don’t know what to expect in the future.
Next sem practical! hehe. Wish me luck!
just enjoy your study years angel. dont worry so much about what the future has in store for you and yes, best of luck during your practical
Nadia said,
November 5, 2009 @ 12:17 am
Hihi.. ya mmg monday blues ba sya slalu jg ni..hihi
emm.. how to say ar, actuali, i dun know, i think i love teaching, but keja sampingan cikgu tu ba sya nda suka.. I never thought cikgu perlu buat minit, laporan, budget, organize itu ini, keyin2, meeting2,isi resit & etc.. huhu.. I have no problem wif that but benda2 itu yg buat i think like “???” (soalan di rahsiakan atas sebab2 tertentu..hihi.. tp sya rasa ko tau jg tu kan ) but I love to teach a.k.a teaching..aiya.. Sya btul2 ingat keja cigu mengajar seja oo..huhu.. jadi amcm sya mau realized ni??..huahua
ya, i do feel what u feel about that part.
most of us time di maktab or higher learning institutions were not directly told what other side jobs that we have to do once we become a teacher.
so there we are, fresh from all the teaching and learning theories, thinking the only thing we are gonna do is teach.
but one wise man told me long time ago, a teacher isn’t just teaching. a teacher is one who knows about everything even if it’s just simple knowledge.
and haven’t we all heard that a teacher is the one who shaped up the world rulers?
happy teaching nad!
Daniel Chiam said,
November 5, 2009 @ 12:27 am
I love this post! I once post about the difference between carrier and job. carrier is driven strongly by passion because that the only way you could do something for so long and never get tired of it. Teacher is the best job ever, not just because of the long holiday, but its the satisfaction that you get from the outcome. these kids will grow up one day and stills remember you, teach them right and they’ll forever be thankful. I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank all my teachers, I love you all and thanks!
yes daniel, u are absolutely right about career and job.
but then again, not all people will be able to say that they finally have a career.
the need to live and earn money is greater even if they have to work like a dog and hating their job everyday.
too bad huh?
Angel said,
November 5, 2009 @ 12:29 am
Lecturer sa cakap kalo d US keja cegu mengajar ja. Keja2 admin, orang lain buat. siok o kan.
ya, by doing so, kerja lebih focus and systematic.
Daniel Chiam said,
November 5, 2009 @ 12:30 am
I misspell career
No worries about that
Olie said,
November 5, 2009 @ 1:19 am
wow… you drove 1 and a half hours to work everyday? I thought me driving 45mins to work is already excruciating! I salute you! I liked reading this post of yours.. it really got oneself pondering whether the profession one is in now is really their passion or the contrary…. keep it up Chegu!
No lah Olie…not every day 1 and half hour. Only on Monday when I go back to Kgau from Ppg. The rest of the days, it only takes the most 20 minutes to reach work.
Cyril said,
November 5, 2009 @ 1:50 am
I have to agree with you.
The best part of being a teacher is actually when you do your REAL JOB, your CORE BUSINESS, which is teaching those young eager minds.
The paper work, the other un-related and not so important extra jobs, office politics etc are the things that make teaching undesirable…
but if you look at the CORE job which is teaching, now, that is the BEST part of being a teacher.
Yes, and that’s the only thing that keep us stay despite of the never ending, un-necessary, not so important extra jobs.
massy said,
November 5, 2009 @ 6:41 am
I don’t think I wanna drive 1 and half hours to work. I’ll get demotivated LOL XD
But I guess you found your true passion which is teaching
so nice.
That is only on Monday for me bah Massy…not every day
Kalau every day, I also go up the education office and begging, crying to minta transfer.
Nessa said,
November 5, 2009 @ 7:41 am
I’ve had many teachers. Some taugh direct from the books, which was not teaching… they didn’t even bother to look at you.
Some, garang like singa who only succeeded to instill fear instead of drive for students to learn. I dread whenever this particular teacher came to teach. Rasa macam mo ponteng seja!
But there are a few gems whom I will forever remember and be grateful for truly being my teacher.
I guess, that’s why people said, not everyone can teach. Like really teach.
Mimi said,
November 5, 2009 @ 8:56 am
Good post Carol.. Coming from teachers family.. I sort of understand your passion.
Thanks Mi
Jess said,
November 5, 2009 @ 9:22 am
Gold
I had a wonderful three months of practicum, which sadly ended last month. But some people have been telling me - “praktikum mimang siok, tapi tingu la kalau ko kena posting nanti. tension ba jadi cigu ni” - wow, imagine the dent to my ever growing passion to ‘teach the students, save the world!’ haha. But after reading this post, i know that I’ll be okay along the way. Passion might just be enough:)
On the contrary, I didnt enjoy my practicum. I think because while going for practicum, I was at the same time busy for KAGUM training jadi itu mind was elsewhere. But, yes I can assure you, you’ll do just fine.
Vienne said,
November 5, 2009 @ 9:44 am
oowhh, dunt forget the part when ur student pass their exam, when they got a better place it future and what are they after that..hehe..altho my ways still far ahead, but then i’m happy if they pass my subject. oo ya, u see different faces every year, different attitudes and actually u know how to handle different people’s attitude. that’s the good for being teacher..and we never feel OLD because we always see young people…hehe
Yabah kan clare. Ultimate satisfaction tu kalo they did flying colors in their exam kan. And yes totally agree that we never feel old when surrounded by these younger generations. LOL!
deana said,
November 5, 2009 @ 12:45 pm
you have found your passion. it’s something you enjoy doing and found fulfillment even when you are not paid enough to do it. you can also find passion elsewhere like photography or you may still searching for your other passion..
can we have many passions? cos i feel like i do have other things that i can be passionate about.
sHeiLa said,
November 5, 2009 @ 1:31 pm
your post really motivated me ! :)) thanks a lot
wahh..zaman chubby la..heee..cute!
let’s motivate each other with each other stories ya
Yabah…zaman pipi ping-pong hahaha
Dierdre said,
November 5, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
This feels like deja vu. I did some reflection writing a few weeks ago as part of an assignment. And it’s something like your post. Teaching was never my passion either. How did I end up in this line of work?? I mean, profession! Yeah chegu.. Betul tu, like you said > “profession”, though some don’t regard it as one. Without the passion there, I don’t think I’m gonna be that great of a teacher but suddenly I feel like proving some people wrong.
I guess, when we have gone through what it’s like to be a teacher regardless of the time we have been as one, and we know we are capable of being one, add passion into it and voila! we are gonna be a great one.
All the best to us in our profession!
sweet-girlicious said,
November 5, 2009 @ 10:37 pm
at least you already knew the real passion…me, yes i had my own passion but sometimes life can make me into hesitation as people sometimes make me into the quandary..hmm
dont let other people get in your way
jipp said,
November 6, 2009 @ 9:55 am
Carol, I was expecting u to be a stewardess aka flight attendant just like most ex-Unduks do. hehe.
I thought I was gonna be one too Jipp. Sdh sa applied tu and kena panggil interview sdh but coincided with my offer letter to further study. jadi, urg tua bilang, paling bagus pigi sambung belajar dulu…jadi pigilah sa belajar.
Noy said,
November 8, 2009 @ 10:37 am
I do never imagine that i was going to be a teacher someday. i always wanted to be someone else jobs, i mean like Doctor, lawyer, etc. but i guess i’m not smart enough to be one of those hehe btw, yeah… teaching is a passion. i dont have the passion towards teaching b4 i read this, but after reading this… i think that i am inspired enough to be a great teacher someday. nothing will make ourselves happy,more than seeing our own students success in their own life.
ps:thanks for the inspiring post Carol *hugs*
for most of us, this is always the case right? having an ambition, studying but ends up being something else.
all the best to us!
kaDusMama said,
November 10, 2009 @ 5:27 pm
hehehee…macam sia lah tu..kejap2 jak teda semangat sudah mau kasi improve myself..hehe
Nda pa carol..mengkali you are meant to be a teacher only..yang lain2 tu..sampingan jak..
Apa kata kita belajar new skill..buat jelly?? LOL Sorry i’m into jelly now..hehehehehhehehehe
Hahaha…ya, buat jelly tu satu skill juga tau. Not everyone can make good jelly. Hehehe